Another Perspective on this Issue

Last month I finished reading Der Weg Zurueck by Eric Maria Remarque (The Road Back, available at Amazon.com). This author also wrote All Quiet on the Western Front, for which he is more well-known. The book tells the story of a group of German soldiers returning from the first world war, and of their efforts to become reintegrated into a disfunctional society.

As I read the book, I realized that I was reading a detailed account of what is now called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD became more commonly known after/during the Vietnam War, among former participants in that conflict.

The striking aspect of this book was how hauntingly similar PTSD symptoms seem to be to the symptoms experienced by those who struggle with SSA: detachment from others, inability to relate to others, despair, discouragement, alienation, preoccupation with past trauma, and so forth.

I referred to another work: Coping With Trauma: A Guide to Self-Understanding by Jon G. Allen, Ph.D. He writes:

"Why read about trauma? Avoidance is such a common reaction that it's a defining feature of posttraumatic stress disorder. If you've been traumatized, you're likely to steer clear of anything that reminds you of the traumatic event. Thinking about traumatic experience stirs up painful emotions. Avoidance is utterly natural, but it can keep you stuck. Blotting the traumatic experience out of your mind can prevent you from coming to terms with it. To cope with trauma and to get past it, you need to think about it....Many individuals who struggle with a traumatic background are extrememly frustrated with themselves. They are highly self-critical, adding insult to injuries. They fail to take account of the serious impact of their traumatic experience, and they do not make sufficient allowance for the limitations of their all-too-human nature. Many feel that they are 'crazy.' The thesis of this book is that, rather than being crazy, persons who have been traumatized are responding in ways that are natural and understandable, given their previous experience." (pages 3-4)

His subsequent analysis of trauma lends support to the thesis that SSA is a form of trauma. Perhaps the person who struggles with unwanted feelings of SSA has been traumatized by repeated exposure to the incorrect idea that his sexual orientation is "wrong". Couple this with the emotional development issues described by Nicolosi and other reparative therapists, and the result is emotional chaos. The developing child is detached from his father and his peers, he feels inadequate in his gender role. His detachment from the groups which should be providing him with emotional support and friendship leaves him outside of the developmental circle; he has fewer opportunities to learn those masculine skills he feels he lacks. His fewer developmental opportunities accentuate his perceived estrangement from his peers. And now, adding insult to injury, he is repeatedly traumatized by the idea that his sexual orientation is "wrong". No wonder he struggles.

In this regard, there may be benefit in dealing with SSA issues in the same way a person deals with issues of abuse in childhood, with rape, or other trauma.