Learning to Love

I had a dream about helping those who struggle with SSA. After a fair amount of effort (as always seems to be the case in a dream) I woke up, but felt impressed by the ideas that had been washing over my mind. I wrote down three ideas. Those ideas, and some commentary follow.

1. Accept
Accept the fact that this is a struggle you must face. Acceptance does not imply submission to temptation. Rather, it is an acknowledgement of the problems to be addressed.
2. A man must work to develop deep and satisfying relationships with all of the men around him.
All of us are surrounded by others. All of us struggle with feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, loneliness, discouragement. But at times we ignore the very opportunities that surround us, hoping instead for other opportunities. At one time I heard Dr. Jeffrey Robinson point out that we are surrounded by sources of love and support, but we discount those sources and keep looking for some other source. Each of us, no matter what the struggle, should recognize that we are surrounded by those who may be the answer to our prayers, if only we would cease discounting that possibility.
3. Learn to give love.
With SSA, the problem sometimes seems to be a detachment and emptiness -- as it were, an inability to receive love, or the sense that no love is offered to receive. Perhaps, though, the issue is not in receiving, but in giving. It is in giving love that we learn to receive it, and our ability to experience joy is very much related to our capacity to love others.

In regard to the third point above, Elder Groberg spoke on this subject at the October, 2004 general conference.
http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,49-1-479-3,00.html
He observed that our joy now and hereafter is inextricably tied to our ability to love others.

At times it seems as though the love offered by others is superficial or even artificial. The question is whether that is actually the case, or whether we have that feeling because what we offer is superficial or artificial. In my own case, I suspect that the latter is true as often as the former.

Ultimately, what each of us seeks is the unconditional love and acceptance and forgiveness that can come only from the Lord. My experience is that that is very real. We will never experience it fully in our relationships to others, though we may have very satisfying and fulfilling relationships. It is important not to lose sight of what comes from where, and how it comes. The tremendous emptiness we might feel can only be filled in our relationship to our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They offer us unconditional love and forgiveness through the atonement. To look for that experience elsewhere is to look in vain. But we learn to recognize and feel that love, as we give and receive unconditional love and forgiveness to and from others. Our interactions with one another become a springboard, as it were, that teach us to love our Father and our Redeemer.