As a Man Thinketh

Years ago I worked with a single man who was trying to overcome a pornography addiction. (This was before the internet.) He had a substantial pornography collection. When I inquired as to how much he had collected, he told me that the street value of his collection was probably more than the value of his home (about $50,000 to $70,000). I imagined that this three-bedroom home was just stuffed with his collection – every closet, every room, every nook.

I inquired what he intended to do with the collection. He thought he would try to sell it. We discussed the fact that by selling it, he was simply passing his problem on to someone else. I suggested that he might do better to throw it all away. I challenged him to throw it away that day. He had never thought of that possibility. He said he would do it. I asked him to call me when he was done.

Evening came and went. He did not call. Several more days passed. No word from him. Then, on about the 6th day, he called me. He told me he had just thrown away the last of it. (It had taken him that long.) He was excited and relieved. He felt he had been relieved of a great burden.

In later discussions, he shared with me the feeling that he had been chained by his addiction. Once he had thrown his collection away, he began to make progress. He testified often of the power of the Savior that had changed his heart. That change had occurred after he threw away his collection.

I have thought since about a number of lessons I learned from that experience.
It takes faith to get started.
The power of Christ can change our hearts.
We cannot surround ourselves with evil and expect to progress spiritually.
What we think about affects who we are, and what we may become.

While my perspective is not that of someone who struggles with SSA, in certain respects, whether a person struggles with SSA or with inappropriate OSA, the struggle is the same. We do have feelings. They are given from a divine source. They are good feelings. The issue is not that we have them, but in what manner they are expressed and what we do with them when full expression is not appropriate (which is nearly all of the time).

As my friend discovered, when he was surrounded by opportunity for inappropriate expression of those feelings, he was continually tormented. He could never escape that torment, because he was reluctant to give up opportunity to return to his addiction. I imagine that it was constantly in his thoughts, since the temptation was as close as the nearest bookshelf. Until he was willing to make a complete change, to abandon even the possibility of return, his growth was stifled.

Though probably to a lesser degree, this is a battle which every man must face. The feelings are real. The battle is not won by pursuing unsavory thoughts, but by recognizing that there are some avenues of thought that are never productive. If never productive, they need never be visited again. Dwelt on, they color every thought, every desire, every wish. Abandoned, they are forgotten.

Some avenues of thought are never productive. If that is the case, why go there…ever?