An Insightful Article II

The article referenced in the prior post raises some good issues, related to the subject of SSA.

Happily the author had the faith and support she needed to withstand the temptation. And happily she had the good sense not to confide those feelings with the person to whom she was attracted.

Question: How is it that an active Latter-day Saint could find herself/himself in this position?
Answer: I don't know. I am reasonably certain that it was not because (prior to facing this difficulty) she wasn't trying to live the gospel to the best of her ability. That she was tempted is probably not a reflection on her spirituality or her commitment to keeping her covenants. (I take consolation in this conclusion. Otherwise, many of us, including me, are in serious trouble.)

Question: How does this experience differ from that of the man (or woman) who struggles with unwanted feelings of SSA?
Answer: I suspect that the temptation is not fundamentally different. (I acknowledge that there are a myriad of other emotional, developmental, and related issues. I am not trying to address those in this response.) It reminds me of the image in the mirror (see prior post). For whatever reason (which I am unable to explain), a person feels an attraction to a perceived image. I suspect that if she had shared her feelings with this man, he might have been horrified and shunned her. She would have discovered that the feelings she had were for someone who did not exist (or at least, was not presently available, ie, the man who would love and appreciate her enough to wish her for his wife). The man/woman who struggles with SSA has a similar kind of experience, I believe. The feeling of attraction is not for the person in question, as much as the image in the mirror.

Question: How does the experience of a person who struggles with SSA differ from that of the man (or woman) who struggles with strong feelings of OSA in an inappropriate way?
Answer: I think it is the same experience, just manifested differently. And I think that the response needs to be the same.

Question: What is the appropriate response?
Answer: The author illustrated what is required. In my own experience, dwelling on the temptation is about the worst alternative. If the act will never be appropriate (and there are many of these), there is no point is giving it another moment's thought because it will never be appropriate. If the act may at some time be appropriate (as in a healthy OSA relationship followed by marriage), then there will be an appropriate time to consider the act. Until that time comes, it is rarely helpful to dwell on the thought. I learned this in Germany, where the magazine displays at the store were not up to LDS standards. As I walked past the display, I looked at the covers. It took 2 or 3 weeks to recover from the negative effects of that 10 second look.

Every person must learn to deal with these feelings. We need not deny that feelings of sexual attraction exist. They do exist. And they have divine origin. What we need to do (male and female, single and married) is recognize why we have them, and what the appropriate response is.