Adventure in Manhood Weekend

There follows one participant's description of Adventure in Manhood Weekend.

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In late July, Floyd Godfrey, a family counselor and therapist in Mesa, called me. We have worked together for some time as I have become involved in Evergreen. A considerable part of his practice involves men who struggle with same sex attraction (SSA). He invited me to attend the Adventure in Manhood (AIM) Weekend, which he was organizing. I agreed to come. I also offered to teach an astronomy class, which he felt would be a good addition to the plans for the weekend.

The event was held at ZZZ Camp area, northeast of DDD, Arizona. I drove to DDD on Friday, August 8. I confess that I was excited with anticipation of this experience. I brought materials for the construction of star charts, which I expected to help the men make during Friday afternoon.

I arrived at the campground about 12:30 p.m., was introduced to those who were already there, and began setting up my camp. The camp was situated in a rather small area; most of the tents were set up a few feet from one another by the end of the day. Down a slight hill was the camp kitchen and meeting area.

Men continued to arrive during the afternoon. About 24 were in attendance. Each person who struggled with SSA was asked to bring a non-struggler to be his buddy during the weekend. Floyd had arranged for me to be buddy with LL, who was coming from Tucson for the weekend. As the day progressed, I met several of the men. Some seemed a little timid and unsure of themselves. Most of us were not clear on what was to occur these days, but most were anticipating a unique experience.

About mid-afternoon LL arrived with several others. We were introduced. I found him to be a friendly, delightful, and considerate person. We spent some time on a nature scavenger hunt, finding an object from nature which represented one of four emotions: sadness, joy, anger, or fear. I selected a branch from a bush. The branch included several berries, and seemed to be an appropriate symbol of joy. LL selected a dark colored rock covered with lichen. He told me it represented the sadness of his life: darkness, covered by a superficial exterior intended to hide the darkness from everyone who knew him.

In later afternoon my friend J arrived. We hugged and were glad to see one another.

Most of the men made their star charts that afternoon. I met them one by one. They were from diverse backgrounds: an orthodox Jew from New Jersey, a man from Winnipeg, a conservative Jew from Los Angeles, an Irishman from Napa, the son of my high school German teacher, a number of men from the Phoenix area. LL is from RRR, and is Greek Orthodox. Most were Latter-day Saints. LL later shared with me that he had met many Mormons at such events, because (as he put it) “they are the ones who want to get better.” Each man seemed to come seeking help with his healing. Some were frightened and shy. Some had been to many such events, and looked forward to the challenge with enthusiasm.


After dinner we began the programmed activities. The first was a trust-building exercise: a man was blind-folded and was verbally guided through a mock minefield by his buddy. Each time he touched a mine he was guided back to the beginning and they started over. On their fourth try his buddy was finally able to get him to the goal. They hugged to celebrate. LL then volunteered for us to be next: he was blind-folded, I was the guide. We made it through on the first attempt. Others followed. We came to trust one another more.

The second activity was a variation of “I am going on a trip.” “My name is _____ and I like _____.” The first few were easy, but as the game progressed we each had to remember more names and more likes. But the game put all of us on better terms, each knowing names and more details about the others.

Another activity followed. We gathered around the outer edge of a large rope laid out in a circle. A moderator read statements, and invited those who felt comfortable doing so to step into the circle if that statement applied to them. We began with easy items: if you wear glasses, step into this circle, etc. The statements progressed to much more difficult issues: those who had been divorced, those who had been molested or abused, those who had struggled with depression or pornography, or other problems. There were several purposes to the activity: to show that no one was the only one to struggle, to show that some struggles were not the exclusive domain of SSA strugglers, to help us all realize that everyone has difficulties to deal with. For me, the most powerful moment came when the statement was “I believe that spirituality is important to my healing.” Every man stepped into the circle.

We followed this with a discussion of fear, anger, sadness, and joy. Each man had opportunity to express himself, and we discussed ways to resolve such emotions.

The final event of the evening was the astronomy class. The moon was waxing and was just past three quarters, so the night was not spectacular for stars. However, the sky was still very good. I walked them through the basic summertime constellations that we could see. Many expressed appreciation.

After we had retired for the night, LL and I talked for several hours. He told me much about his life, his struggles with SSA, his detachment from his father, of his coming to America in search of help and healing, of his therapy, and of his faith. It became apparent to me that he was a man of great faith and spiritual commitment. He had devoted all of his effort to finding healing so that he could live a life that would be in conformity with the teachings of the scriptures. It was also apparent that the Lord had blessed him greatly, and that he had found what he had been seeking. He still works at it, but has made much progress.


On Saturday morning, we had several more activities, including a training session on the causes and treatment of SSA. Those activities were followed by a hike through the canyon, where we concluded with a rappelling activity. The cliff we were to scale did not look too high from the bottom. However, from the top it seemed very high. LL and I were some of the first ones down. My first trip down was uneventful. We went at the same time on our second try. LL lost his footing and came crashing into me. That left me no option but to go crashing into the cliff. Fortunately my wounds were minor. I reciprocated by losing my footing a little farther down and crashing into him.

One man was extremely fearful. He stood on the cliff for at least an hour, trying to decide what to do. The group below had a lot of discussion about how they might help and encourage him. No one complained about the wait — they only hoped that he would be able to make it.

Because of the delays at the rappelling activity, we arrived back at camp for lunch about 3 p.m. Morale was good. The men had had a good morning. We had been soaked on a downpour on the way back. But everyone seemed to be happy. When lunch was served, the men sat in small groups and talked. Everyone seemed to belong.

Because of my church commitments, I left the event late Saturday night and came home. When I left, I went through the camp and tried to tell each man goodbye. Each seemed to have grown to be a special friend. Although we had only known one another for less than 30 hours, we had grown close. I felt that each was a part of me.