Some Thoughts and Ideas

On April 10, 2005, the Gilbert AZ Highland Stake sponsored a fireside addressing the subject of same sex attraction (SSA). I found the following points to be of interest.

Jason Park, an LDS author and leader, spoke about the process of overcoming SSA. Acknowledging the difficulty of the process, he compared it with competitive diving. In competitive diving, a diver is rated on both the difficulty of the dive and the execution of the dive. An athlete may execute a dive perfectly, but his score may be less than that earned by a diver whose dive was more difficult but executed less perfectly. As we pass through life, each of us has challenges. Some trials are much more difficult than others. The process of growth involves learning to do the best we are capable of doing. In some cases, a less-than-perfect performance with a particularly challenging trial, given by one striving for perfection, may be more significant than a perfect performance in dealing with a lesser challenge. None of us is qualified to pass judgment on another, since none of us understands the full measure of another’s trials.

Priesthood leaders are not trained therapists. The counsel they give is often inspired by the Holy Ghost. They may themselves be learning, even as they are counseling with a ward member. [From my own experience, I know this to be true.] We should not discount their counsel. Both priesthood leader and ward member should work together to understand the promptings of the Spirit.

Some (not limited to those who struggle with SSA) become preoccupied with trying to have their “needs met”. The Savior never spoke in terms of having one’s needs met. He taught that we should lose ourselves in the service of others. A preoccupation with getting one’s needs met may be counter-productive. This is not to suggest that there are not areas in which growth is required. But the teachings of the Lord suggest that serving in the priesthood with other men may do more for growth than focusing on self. (This theme often seems to reappear with men who have served full-time missions. When they were most engrossed in the work, they found their unhealthy feelings of SSA to be greatly diminished.)